Wheel Of Time Training for Fanfiction
by Aman'mai
Summary: A v. enthusiastic slash writer finds herself in a university run by homicidal mini-evils and canon characters that wish to make the World of Fanfiction a better read for all. (Permission HAS been obtained from Miss Cam)
1. The Beginning

Aman'mai's Disclaimer: This wonderful idea's humble beginnings began at Miss Cam's wondrous work of art: OFUM. All characters except Erin, Aman'mai and Hunter belong to the honorable Robert Jordan. Monty Python ref's are NOT my responsibility and Hunter is hereby called in for punishment...but probably will include more refs so don't blame us. Any tips and helpful suggestions are MOST welcome as well as flames-but since not many fics are written, you don't have much to go on to refer to as being better. Will enjoy anything people come up with.  
  
Jillian's A/N: Yes. We did obtain permission from Miss Cam for this - hope it lives up to the great standard of OFUM 1 & 2. Please send in your application and any ideas for this fic. *Mutters something about writer's block being the Ultimate Evil* Anyway, please read, review, thanks for getting this far in the story.   
  
[And apologies (but not very many) for the Monty Python references.] ____________________________________________________________________   
  
Erin sat before her computer. What a great idea for a fic - just the thought of Elayne and Aviendha's reactions when they found Rand with Mat made her smile. Hmmm, now the question was where they would find them...   
  
"Pain, Lews Therin! Pain!" she laughed, spinning around in her desk chair. Usually, she would not be so happy - but usually she didn't eat piles of sherbet before writing fic. Erin set her hands upon the keyboard, and began typing...   
  
Rand stroked Mat's back softly and heard Mat groan under his breath murmured softly in his ear then, using the One Power he channeled saidin into the room, accentuating the pleasure and. "Rand?!" he looked up and Mat groaned once more as Rand caressed his chest with one hand, Avienda and Elayne stood at an open doorway. Avienda was shaking with fury and Elayne looked as if she were to cry...   
  
"Where did that come from?" Erin jerked away from the screen as if stung. Cautiously, Erin picked up the fist-sized object that had appeared on the desk between the keyboard and the monitor. It was a deep reddish colour, and was round with a hollow in one side large enough for her thumb and forefingers to go through. 'Am I stupid enough to poke my fingers in there?' She wondered at the thing in her hands. 'I've seen way too many movies to be that dumb. Oh, what the hell I've already picked it up what could happen.' With a loud sprrrrroing, the orb sprang open, ejecting a large scroll and a pen. Briefly wondering how they fit inside the orb, she picked up the paper and started to read it.  
  
Dear Fanfictor,  
  
Congratulations! You have been enlisted in Wheel of Time Training for Fanfiction. Please complete the following form and return it right now, or I'll sic my brand-new Mini-Golam on you.   
  
Name:   
  
Homeland  
  
Occupation: (If Aes Sedai pls. go to next Q.)  
  
Are you Aes Sedai? If so, please fill out following questions:   
  
Ajah (if applicable):   
  
Salidar or Tower Aes Sedai?   
  
"What?" Erin muttered. "This is so not happening. I don't believe I am filling out a form for.Fanfiction training? And it asks me my Ajah?" Shaking her head, she grabbed the pen anyway and filled it out. 'Green Ajah, Salidar Aes Sedai, homeland? Aiel Waste, why not.' There were sections for Aiel (which Erin decided to fill out as well, why not.) and Asha'man, and 'giant spontaneously-combusting hamsters? What the.?'And it continued over the page.   
  
Evil or good?   
  
I have a fear of: Myrdraal / Gholam / Pain (Lews Therin) / Thirteen Aes Sedai / The Forsaken/ Harmless Little Bunny Rabbits / The Dragon Reborn / nothing, what is fear?   
  
It went on and on, including a release form with phrases like any injuries is my fault and I will not insinuate blame on WOTTF in any way. Erin smirked at that, and thought 'I wonder if they meant the acronym most people associated with those letters to come to that?'   
  
Her father entered the bedroom "Erin? Are you still up? It's 11 o'clock. You've got school tomorrow. Into bed and be quick about it!!" closing the door before Erin could twist herself around his finger for five more minutes.  
  
Erin shrugged and, finishing of the letter, she signed her name with a flourish and left it on her desk. 'See if I have to mail it in the morning to some place.' Yawning, she turned off the computer and climbed into her bed to settle down with the eighth book, Path of Daggers.  
  
After reading a chapter of the eight WoT book, she snuggled carefully in her blankets and turned out the lights, giggling madly she thought about her new slash fic. Oooh, this one's going to be good she thought 'and then Aram tries to get with Perrin after Perrin is devastated by the fact that Faile has fallen for hmm, which one of the Forsaken? Rah'vin? No, he died. Hah! I'll go one better, the Dark Lord!' And so, chuckling evilly to herself she rolled herself in her blankets and closed her eyes.  
____________________________________________________________________  
  
Thinking you are falling asleep in your bed one moment and then finding yourself in a seemingly deserted campsite in the next can be quite a frightening experience but then, the sherbet's Erin had eaten earlier seemed to still maintain their affect. And so Erin, standing by herself, realized she was still chuckling over her last thought before she had fallen asleep, 'funny, I don't think I should remember things like that, not usually anyway...' Then, looking around at her surroundings she decided to creep into a tent. Seeing, a very pretty chair behind a very imposing desk she sat down on the multiple cushions lying there and started to act, well 'queenly' as the chair had all but told her to do, what with it just there, doing nothing and looking real important and all.  
  
Without warning, voices from outside traveled into the tent; Erin found herself ducking down under the desk.   
  
"I don't think this is a good idea, Aman'mai," one female sounding voice began.   
  
" Nonsense, we are behind with the times, Hunter. The canons of Middle- Earth, Hogwarts, assorted anime cartoons and heavens know what else have already started. And now with new technologies around and the PPC on board, we can battle this 'bad fanfic' plague that has spread so momentously since the discovery of the Internet and the Lord of the Rings movies. You know how that started a whole new craze."   
  
"Mmmm, tell me about it."   
  
"Have you gotten in touch with the canon characters yet?" said the one called Aman'mai.   
  
"Yes. They are happy to get even with these Fanfictors, especially after I handed in that one about Mat and Rand..." Hunter answered.  
  
"Yes, I know, that latest one from, hmmm, a girl called... Ezza?"   
  
"Ya-huh, I saw it. Awful stuff. I sometimes wonder why they do it; do they enjoy torturing a hard-working author's characters? I for one believe that Mr. Jordan did a very good job with this canon." Erin thought she heard the one called Hunter sniff loudly.   
  
"Yes, and the fact that he isn't dead yet means he can use the series to thwart Fanfictors for writing about themselves with one of the character."   
  
"Especially, with Mat and Rand having all those women."   
  
"Now that you mention that, perhaps he went too far. You never know which hormone crazed girl might lust after being one of their mistresses..." Hunter must have sniffed again because the other woman raised her voice angrily against her.  
  
"Honestly, Hunter, you and all that sniffing! What is it with you and those Emond Field girls? I tell you, that sniffing really gets on my nerves!! I think I might need to spend a bit of time with   
  
The voices faded away and Erin emerged from her hiding space under the overly large desk. 'Weird' she thought and walked out of the tent, not without making sure the coast was clear; those two clearly didn't appreciate true slash ingeniousness like her own. Dream or no dream she kept a wary eye out for them but they did not seem to return. Wandering aimlessly for a while she passed an overturned cart, noting the...   
  
"Aha! What do we have here?" a heavily muscled arm grabbed her round the throat and dragged her into the shadows. Erin yelled and kicked at her attacker fruitlessly.   
  
"I'll kill you! I...urgh...won't let you...urgh...do this to me! You won't! Raaargh!" whoever was holding her slung her down on the pavement in front of him.   
  
"Kill me, hmm? And how would you propose to do that? I sincerely doubt that you could get off the ground," the man in the shadows said, mildly.   
  
"Hah! I'd..." lost for words Erin glared at the man who had out smarted her. "Damn you..."   
  
And then she disappeared.   
  
The man stood looking down at the spot where she had vanished. Frowned, and walked away quietly, pondering deep thoughts.  
  
________________________________________________________   
  
Haha! Cliffhanger! Who is this mysterious 'pondering' man? Where did Erin disappear to? Where was she when she disappeared? Hmmm? Tune in next when I post my new chapter!  
  
WARNING: Constructive criticism may cause slight depression to writer/s and so do not expect quick updates after sending one, although they are much appreciated. Writer/s seem to think work is 'not good enough' for their audiences and so try extra hard so as to get only 'you are so great' reviews instead to swear at exasperatedly because they have nothing good to read and work up on.   
  
WARNING: Please pay no attention to the previous warning as it is incorrect and may/will cause great confusion. Therefore, the previous warning did not exist. At all. Except that reviews may take a while because school is murder to the brain an ads to DAMN STUPID WRITER'S BLOCK!!! (Shaitan cheers for his master) 


	2. The First Day In

Wheel of Time Chapter 2  
Disclaimer: None of these characters belong to me except for Erin, Talissa, Aman'mai and Hunter (so far) everyone else belongs to the almighty author RJ.  
A/N: All of this is my interpretations of the book and it's characters so don't blame me for what I write unless it's a major character flaw-like making Mat gay, I mean, come on the guys got three girl friends! Please review! Need feedback to work on, any ideas would be v. helpful.  
And heeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeee we go!  
  
______________________________________________________________  
Aram looked down at his feet, ashamed.  
"You had no reason to go out of your way to attack an innocent girl, Aram! One, might I add, that must have dreamed herself here by accident. By what you have told me, she must be frightened out of her wits! You had no right to attack at all! Do you hear me, Aram? We are supposed to lay low or stay at the University! Not to start mugging people-innocent people in their dreams! By her actions, I don't believe she was out to attack me or Faile or anybody else for that matter so don't try to wriggle out it! You are not to go around attacking people who may or may not pose as a threat! Do you understand me?" Perrin was red in the face and breathing heavily. His fingers were stroking the long handle of the axe by his side. Aram shifted his feet nervously. Perrin started to growl softly.  
"Yes, sir." replied Aram steadily after a slight hesitation.  
"Hmmm, good. Don't let it happen again." Perrin strode off with Faile clinging to his heels behind him trying to get him interested in investing in suitable door re-enforcers, just in case, you must understand. Faile had heard all about the fangirl stampedes in the other universities, and though she was confident that Perrin could resist them, did not want to take chances.  
Aram walked towards his quarters in the other direction, pondering. Aram liked to consider himself a ponderer. He thought (or pondered as it may be) that he was not so fast as others in thinking. He liked to think things through thoroughly, like Perrin he mused. Yes, just like Perrin.  
Walking down the corridors of WOTTF he wondered (or pondered) about how it would be to have them filled with shrieking students. Men and women, Aman'mai had said when she'd asked. But then she had given him a look that clearly said that if he thought to do anything apart from giving pain to the female students, he would have to think again.  
Sighing heavily he opened the door to his bedroom and collapsed in his chair, staring at the ceiling. "Tomorrow is going to be a bad day," he murmured to himself, it was almost as if he was having a foretelling of a sort.  
_______________________________________________________  
Something was shaking Erin hard, very hard.  
"Wake up, you! Wake up!"  
"Mghsndhgahgk... gerroff me, you bastard..."  
Erin proceeded to groggily push the arms that held her away. "Awha? Awheh? You?" Erin looked at the concerned face hovering above her head. "Whoa..." Clutching a hand to her head, she very unsteadily got up and peered at the girl standing in front of her. The girl looked as if she was about to catch something.  
"Why is everything moving?" Erin stumbled and the girl dived to grab her arm and hold her steady. "I'm Talissa, an Aiel Wise One, you didn't show up at the morning assembly with the rest of your roommates so I came up here to check up on you." Talissa steered her out of the room. "You still need to get your books for class but I'm afraid that Lan won't want you coming in late and disturbing his concentration so you'll have to borrow someone else's until I can get them to you."  
Erin looked around her. High vaulted ceilings with columns banded with several colours lined the hallway and a multi-coloured carpet lay upon the floor.  
"Umm, weird that I don't know and all, but where the hell am I?" asked Erin, still not completely awake. Yet.  
"You're in WOTTF: A university for training Wheel of Time Fanfictors. We'll be training you in the art of writing a good fic instead of that . . . other stuff you write." Talissa gestured at a door in front of them vaguely and it swung open to a courtyard outside where a man was standing in front of a great crowd of people, who were randomly throwing questions at him.  
"What about Lily Dances On Tiptoes?" came one question from the mass around him.  
"And what about my one, Macho Man Makes Dead Meat?"  
"Candlesticks In The Wind?"  
"ENOUGH!" the fairly large and stern looking man yelled.  
"Oh dear" murmured Talissa. "I thought he would be able to handle this, but obviously it's straining his Warder training."  
"Warder training?" asked Erin, but she got no further.  
"Ah! The slug-a-bed has arisen! Welcome to A Guide To Proper Sword Forms 212, I'm Lan and you. are going to do whatever I tell you for the next hour. Clear?" Erin could only nod dumbly.  
Lan twisted to face the students who had turned to look at him, "Good. Now I want us ALL to work on these forms." He then proceeded to do what seemed only a blur to the Fanfictors-in-training. "Did you all catch that?" several people shook their heads but Lan seemed to be blind to their protests.  
"Right then. Continue practice."  
________________________________________________________________  
Talissa had seemed to disappear as soon as Lan's class had begun so Erin was on her own in finding her next class. She decided to find help in a fellow student who had managed to get her books (and map of the grounds) before breakfast.  
"My legs are going to collapse from under me," groaned a girl called Melanie, who happened to be in the Aes Sedai classes with Erin.  
"Your legs? My heart is still doing somersaults!" a self-proclaimed Lan- luster, called Jess cried from the other side of the group of Fanfictors-to- be.  
Erin couldn't stand lusters of any sort. They were all so ditzy and stupid in how they blindly followed their heart's desire towards certain doom. But then again, Erin found a sort of justice in their pain.  
"Oooh! Look what we've got next! An Idiot's Guide To Saidar 434, we've got Elaida and Moiraine Sedai," squealed Leanne, "I can't wait to learn this magic stuff . . . thing."  
"I BEG YOUR PARDON?" came a loud and impervious voice from behind them. Erin closed her eyes; Nyneave was the only Aes Sedai she could imagine in having that kind of a voice.  
Leanne visibly cringed under Nyneave's gaze, "I-I-I-I beg y-y-y-your pard-d- don, Nyneave Sedai."  
"This 'magic stuff' is saidar, a power so pure that it could kill you and is not to be tossed off as some. some thing!" Nyneave looked pointedly at Erin and Melanie.  
"I believe you have a class to go to." She said coolly.  
"Oh but Leanne." Erin tried to put a word in for her friend. "Elaida and Moiraine will not be happy if you are late." Glaring at them, Erin realized that it wasn't Leanne's neck that was really in danger.  
"Yes, Nyneave Sedai."  
Erin and Melanie walked quickly to the next corner and then broke off at a dead run, arriving in class just as Elaida was closing the door.  
"Girls, you just made it in time. Lovely." Elaida's smile did not reach her crystal blue eyes, "We'll need a few volunteers in demonstrating how hard it is training to become an Aes Sedai. Hopefully it will encourage young women not to stray on the way to class and enlightenment."  
As they sat down Erin looked at both faces of the Aes Sedai at the front of the class and resolved never to cross any Aes Sedai ever.  
Melanie passed a piece of paper:  
***We are dead. They hate us. They are evil. Evil, I tell you! ***  
"Erin, I believe? What is that you are holding there, dear? I'd much like to see it." Elaida was standing over her with a steely grin fixed maniacally on her face like a painted clown's face.  
Hoo, boy.  
_________________________________________________________________  
A/N: Thanks for all the reviews so far, would like more though so please keep all feedback coming., the plot will be coming in soon so don't worry. At the moment it's still just setting out the basics.  
***********  
FEET?  
Yes D.O., they're at the bottom of your legs.  
OH, I KNEW THAT. EASY  
Sure  
FEAR ME!  
No.  
**silence**  
GO AWAY.  
No. Is my poor little D.O. upsetty-wetty?  
SHUT UP!  
Uh oh, I think he is.  
FEEL MY WRATH!  
Sure.  
AMAN'MAI . . .!  
__________________________________________________  
Oooh! Look at that lurve-ah-ly button down there, maybe you could send me a pretty message if you click on it! 


	3. Here Be Pain, But Educationally So

Wheel of Time Training for Fanfiction Chapter 3  
  
Here Be Pain - but educationally so.  
_______________________________________________________  
  
Erin collapsed on her bed. 'Aes Sedai are truly evil.' That morning, Elaida had not approved of the note that Melanie had passed to her, and gone on to prove just how Evil an Aes Sedai could be. 'So much for not the First Oath,' thought Erin. Bloody Tar Valon Aes Sedai!  
  
Talissa slouched in and slumped onto her bunk. "You too, hmm?"  
  
"Aes Sedai training. You?" Erin muttered in reply.  
  
"Worse, Aiel training."  
  
"Ouch, that bad?" A dry chuckle came from Talissa.  
  
"Remember what they did to Egwene before she left?"  
  
"Yes," Erin said slowly. "But that was because she'd lied or something. Didn't they say she had toh?"  
  
"Well, apparently all of us Aiel do too."  
  
"Pain, Lews Therin."  
  
"Indeed. Come on, we have lunch now."  
  
"Oh good. Let's pray nothing else will go wrong."  
  
________________________________________________________  
Upon entering the cafeteria, Talissa and Erin noticed a hush fall over the students . . .  
  
"I don't like this," whispered Erin to Talissa, then she noticed what Talissa was staring at, and froze.  
  
GOOD MORNING, said the black shadow behind the counter, who seemed to be having difficulty tying up his pink apron, I WILL BE YOUR CHEF AS A SPECIAL STUDENT-TEACHER PROGRAM, WE TEACHERS WILL BE COOKING FOR YOU WITH THE HELP OF . . . , it gestured to two fiery lumps with wings, SARUN AND MORGOROTH, WE WERE LENT THEM FROM MISS CAM OF OFUM. WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO EAT?  
  
Talissa emitted a small squeak.  
  
"Errr, we'll just have a couple of toasted sandwiches," Erin's words stumbled out of her mouth and hid behind the juicer.  
  
RIGHT. The shadow proceeded to pile in some ham and cheese between two unoffending pieces of bread, WOULD YOU LIKE TOMATO WITH THAT? Gods, he even made ithat/i sound like a threat.  
  
"N-n-n-no, thank you,"  
  
Shakily, they picked up their sandwiches and made their way to Melanie and Leanne. Immediately, Talissa opened her mouth.  
  
"What the HELL was that about???" she squeaked at them.  
  
QUIET IN THE CAFETERIA! NO SPEAKING! came a very scary voice from the kitchens.  
  
"What madness is this?" Talissa squeaked again, yet so softly they could barely hear her.  
  
MORGOROTH! FETCH!  
  
**A/N: Ouch. **  
________________________________________________________  
  
After extracting Talissa out of Morgoroth's clutches, Erin made her way outside the next morning for the Sa'sara Dancing Class. She had actually signed up for this one, in that time when she had believed this place was not pure evil. 'Still,' she reasoned, 'what can hurt me just learning the Sa'sara? Might even be fun!' Stupid thinking.  
  
She found a large group of students standing around and chatting excitedly in the courtyard. Yep, this was the sa'sara class all right. That group over there, the one with . . . that was the Lan-Lusters group. And that laughter was from the few who called themselves Aram's Angels. Dear God, these people needed new names, and fast. Not to mention, Aram? Yuk!  
  
Before long, a group of Tinkers - no, not Tinkers, iTuatha'an /i - approached from their caravans parked near the Staff Section. They were definitely Tin- . . . Tuatha'an - no one else could wear those colours without being criminally insane. "Tuatha'an" had been literally beaten into her when she had called one of the . . . err . . . well, *that* that very morning.  
  
The Tinkers were obviously there to watch for some reason and most of the students ignored them after a minute studying to see if any were worth giving up Aram.  
  
A new figure emerged from the crowd of Tinkers.  
  
"You!" The woman pointed to Leanne, "I want you to show me the most graceful and seductive movement you know."  
  
And Leanne, being Leanne, began to vogue. (A/N: You know, the weird hand thing that Madonna does . . . * yawn*)  
  
The woman, whom everyone had presumed was Faile (nobody could have had a sharper nose than ithat/i), looked on in what the other student could have thought of as cold fury or a calm blue ocean (A/N: Just before the storm, of course- what were you thinking of?). Leanne slowed her voguing to a stop.  
  
"Err, should I try something different?" her voice quivered so much you could feel the vowels breaking under the strain.  
  
Faile said nothing, but looked at Leanne with her famous hawk-eye glare.  
  
"Can I have a go?" asked Jess, the Lan-luster.  
  
Everyone turned as one with mouths open, Jess however didn't notice a thing- except for what she thought of as a quick nod from Faile.  
  
Erin looked on at what seemed to her to be an opportunity to see Faile's wrath at work. 'This will be interesting. . . ' she thought smugly to herself, as Jess began to twist her hips in such a way that most people were trying not to laugh outright- this didn't mean they didn't giggle, of course . . .  
  
Faile, of course, was silent until Jess was finished.  
  
"Interesting . . . But I was hoping for more . . . suggestive movements that didn't necessarily mean "I'm a brainless-idiot who wants to f*** you." No, I think we want something a little bit more in . . . control? A bit of . . . yes, Leanne?  
  
"I think what the sa'sara is all about is distance, like the ice cream that says 'I'm way higher than you but I'm going to show it off because I'm so much better and I know you can't get me sort of thing, especially when you have no money because you spent it all on a lollypop', for example." Leanne braved.  
  
Faile thought about it.  
  
"Hmmm, I'm not acquainted with your. . ."she stumbled for only a second before rallying magnificently, "those ice things, whatever you call them. But that seems an appropriate analogy for the moment.  
  
"Now, for the first few lessons I have my mother to help you with learning the basics. Hopefully, she will not be too hard as you are very new to this . . ."  
  
Faile walked off and motioned to someone around the corner. An enormous woman emerged, the assembled students suddenly found what it would be like if a mountain could move, simply by being the presence of such a mobile- seeming tower of faulted earth.  
  
"I would like to introduce to you my mother, whom you will call AT ALL TIMES Lady Bashere."  
  
Lady Bashere looked down on the insignificant mounds of dirt (A/N: metaphor) at her feet and sniffed, "I must say that I will have to work hard to get you lot up to the . . ."her eyes strayed to some of the boys who had accidentally signed up for Sa'sara instead of Archery, "Oh, my. I will work you hard indeed."  
  
Faile nodded approvingly at her mother, "Well, they're in your hands now, mother. Enjoy," she added to the rest of us.  
  
'This is going to be fun . . .' thought Erin, as she watched Faile as she passed and heard, most unintentionally as single word.  
  
"Not!"  
  
(A/N: Mwahahaha . . . )  
***********************************************  
  
Aman'mai: Hey Jill, will you get your lazy a$$ over to hotmail so you can help me with this DAMN STUPID WRITER'S BLOCK??!!?!  
  
Shaitan: MWAHAHAHA!! AND I SHALL BE FOREVER EVIL IN DSWB!!!  
  
Shroomie: Aman'mai . . . I'm busy . . . homework . . . must finish lj . . . must do . . .  
  
Aman'mai: No excuse Jill, the reader's come first!  
  
Shaitan: WHAT READERS?  
  
Shroomie: Yeah, we only have . . .  
  
Aman'mai: We have people who read us! Lots of people enjoy what we've done!  
  
Shaitan: WHERE? I THINK I MISSED THEM . . . HEEHEE.  
  
Aman'mai: They're there . . . somewhere out there . . . 'over the mountains'  
  
Shaitan: AHEM.  
  
Aman'mai: Oh, sorry. Well, if ANYONE is out there . . . please review . . . please?  
  
Shaitan: WHO OUT THERE? ECHO . . . ECHO . . . ECHO  
  
Aman'mai: Oh, shut up DO.  
  
************************************** 


	4. Pain And A Really Difficult Question

WOTTF Chapter 4: Pain and A Really Difficult Question  
  
Aman'mai: Hello, all! I've been restricted to lunchtimes and weekends now so we can't update so often. thanks for all the reviews though! Keep them coming! Also, we are taking mini names, so pls include them in your review, thankies!  
  
TheShroom: Yes, what she said. Don't go away, because we are still working on this! Keep sending everything in - minis, reviews, plot ideas, enrolments, anything. Luv ya, Shroomie.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Erin turned to Lady Bashere and found the woman standing behind her.  
  
"Eep."  
  
"Right! Now, we've all seen your kind of dancing so what I want you all to do now is this," barked Lady Bashere, straight into Erin's ear.  
  
Lady Bashere positioned her hips and begun to sway them hypnotically, hula style. Then, her arms slowly rose in beat with the motion of her hips.  
  
The rest of the class began to follow suit, some almost perfect but soon a crack of bones could all be heard and everyone was on the floor clutching their hips.  
  
"Argh! My hip! What the hell happened to my hip? Gyah!" screamed Jess, whom had now earned everyone's mutual hate after she had announced her plans to woo Lan with her rendition of 'Can U Feel The Lurve Tonite?'  
  
"Oh dearie me," bellowed Lady Bashere softly.  
  
Some people were getting up, but most remained where they were- on account of the fact that they were only capable of only that. Erin was one of them.  
  
"I'm afraid you don't have the flexibility for sa'sara, children," hollered Lady Bashere over the courtyard. "Fayle and Msat, could you gather some other mini's and get the lame to the MediWard?"  
  
The named minis nodded once and ambled out the door, returning only a few minutes later with a horde of their own kind. Under Fayle's direction, the students (many passed out from the sight of various minis approaching at head height) were carried to the Infirmary. Preferring not to think of the various appendages holding her up, Erin was happy to get knocked unconscious by careless handling near a doorway - even though she could have sworn she heard a Mini-troll snigger as she passed out.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Slowly, Erin opened one eye. Judging by what she couldn't see out of the squint, Erin opened the other one too.  
  
"Ah, the lady awakes," Lan's handsome face loomed above her, "your hip should heal as soon as Moiraine or Nyneave gets here." He laughed as he saw Erin grimace, "Do not worry, it is better than being lame for the week."  
  
Hah! I doubt it . . . did he really just look and talk to me? Whoa. Erin started to go floppy and pink then shook herself, you're as bad as that Jess, yeesh! But then, that grin . . . She shuddered, then inwardly groaned and squeezed her eyes tight as she spotted Nyneave walking up to her.  
  
"Well, well, well. I'm not surprised you're here," Nyneave placed her hands on Erin's hip and breathed deeply.  
  
A tingle spread throughout her hips . . .  
  
When she had finished screaming and thrashing, Erin was ready to walk - and ready to eat, too. She headed out to the kitchen where she found a few of her sa'sara classmates scrounging a meal too.  
  
"All done," said Nyneave, "Didn't feel a thing did you?" Erin nodded. "Good then, you better go by the office on the way to class, I understand you were a little drowsy this morning."  
  
Erin stared at the woman as she marched off, Does everybody know that I slept in . . . almost as if it were a crime, she thought to herself.  
  
Humming Hot Action Cop down the corridor she steered herself towards a desk where she found a woman on what looked like, a mobile phone.  
  
"Err, should that work here?" Erin asked the woman at the desk.  
  
"Are you sure that he won't come out? What's he doing now? Oh dear, I'd better come then . . . ok, I'll see you in five. Right," the woman turned to Erin, "Ahh, you're the student who hasn't collected her timetable yet. You'll have to wait a minute or two, though. Follow me, I may need your help."  
  
"Help with what?" asked Erin, but the woman only walked faster.  
  
Moments later, the woman turned to a long, dark corridor, you know, one of those really scary ones where you just know that a big hairy thing is just going to leap out and eat you or something and there's a eerie glow that highlights the paintings so that the eyes look like they're following you down the hallway, just waiting to see what nasty thing will happen to you like fall down a trapdoor or something . . .  
  
Erin decided to stop thinking right there or she'd collapse and have to be healed again. She didn't want to be in the Infirmary again in a hurry: that was for sure.  
  
"Who are you?" Erin asked, when she got no answer, she repeated herself.  
  
"Who are you?"  
  
"My name is Aman'mai" the woman whispered over her shoulder, "and I would appreciate it if you could be quiet as we enter, he's a little unstable."  
  
"Who is?"  
  
The door opened and Aman'mai cautiously approached a shadow in the corner.  
  
"Hello, Rand." She murmured, "How are you?"  
  
"No, my name is Lews Therin Kinslayer! Nooooo! Ilyena!!!" the man began to sob.  
  
"Rand . . . " Aman'mai moved closer.  
  
"No! Get away from me! I am a killer! The maidens . . . " Rand began to rock back and forth murmuring names to himself, "Lamelle - Surandha - Liah- "  
  
"It's worse now," another woman stepped forward, "I don't know if he'll come back."  
  
"It might be a trick, Hunter. Lews has done that to us before, you know."  
  
"I know but this looks pretty serious to me." Hunter and Aman'mai turned to Rand, "You don't think he'll . . . ?"  
  
"I don't think so. I hope not."  
  
Erin looked at Rand again. He was quite cute actually, sure he was crazy but a little work and . . .  
  
"I came as soon as I could." Erin looked up and saw Elayne. What, is everyone going to come and gawk at poor little Randy-wandy . . .  
  
Erin moved to Rand and started to hug him.  
  
WHOOMPH!  
  
Erin hit the ceiling and came down to see the ground rush up to meet her. Guess Elayne doesn't want any help with Rand, then.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Healed once more and ready to eat, Erin limped out to the kitchen where she found a few of her classmates scrounging a meal.  
  
"I'll bet you they made that healing painful on purpose," grumbled Leanne, wolfing down an apple.  
  
"It's part of their motto," Talissa, who had dropped in from her Myrdraal- spearing class, said gloomily. "Learning Through Pain. I heard about it from the Official Fanfiction University of Middle-Earth. It's the Lord of the Rings one, the original."  
  
"Ooh," another would-be-sa'sara dancer muttered. "I wouldn't go to two of these for all the fanfic in the world."  
  
"What about all the lust objects in the world?"  
  
"Now that's a tough question."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Aman'mai: Yay! Now wasn't that a long-ish chapter?  
  
Shaitan: NO KIDDING.  
  
Aman'mai: I thought Shroomie and I did well on that one.  
  
Shaitan: I'M SURE YOU DID.  
  
Aman'mai: Are you trying to be sarcastic?  
  
Shaitan: *yawn* OF COURSE NOT.  
  
Aman'mai: Yes you were! You didn't like it!  
  
Shaitan: AND THE PENNY DROPS.  
  
Aman'mai: Not talking to you anymore.  
  
Shaitan: I'M ALMOST CERTAIN THAT'S A BAD THING.  
  
Aman'mai: *rolls eyes* Grrr . . . 


	5. Worthy Gentlemen

WOTTF Chapter 5: _Worthy Gentlemen_

Aman'mai: Sorry for the late wait and all . . . we've been really rushed and I've been expanding beyond the WoT fics. Also, I've invented a few new words in this (and yes, Microsoft Word just went crazy on that There are so many red and green squiggles on this it's not funny . . . it looks like it's Christmas). Term 3 in Oz has been a pretty busy one for us. But, without any more ado, I shall give you . . . 

The Shroom: *pulls head out of book and sees reader* MmmpH! *removes biscuit from mouth* Ah... the chapter's here. Yay? Thanks for reading, special 

thanks and virtual-bikkies for reviewing, hope you like it, been very 

very busy, next chapter hopefully coming soon, go Makybe Diva for the 

Melbourne Cup, Tripod are doing shows of Lady Robots in Melbourne, 

hooray, no one else gets this, why don't you just get reading? *dives 

back into book*

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Erin lay day-dreaming in the grass.

'Pretty Lan, pretty Demandred,' she thought to herself, 'Pretty Rand! Rawr…' she pawed the air in front of her with an imaginary claw.

"Rawrrr . . . rawr – argh!"

"What are you doing?" she sat up quickly as she saw Elayne standing above her.

"N-n-n-nothing!" she stammered, "N-n-n-nothing at all! I – I saw a bee!"

Elayne narrowed her eyes at Erin and sniffed accusingly before swishing her dress in an arc and making her way back inside the University.

Erin let out a sigh of relief. Elayne still hadn't forgiven her for what had happened yesterday. She cringed as the memory of hitting the wall with a sickening crack came back to her.

Looking carefully around, she made sure that no one was watching her. Then, when no one immediately came to view she settled back down on the grass and . . . 

"Hello, hello! What are YER doing today?" Erin groaned inwardly for being interrupted so swiftly yet again and sat up.

Turning, she found herself face to _knee _with a very large looking, over grown what the . . . _???? _(A/N: I'm thinking mushroom for some reason, Shroomie)

"My name is Loial!_"_ the thing – Loial said, grinning hopefully and his furry tufts at the tip of his ears twitching nervously.

She grinned. It – Loial's strange over enthusiasm was catching.

"My name's Erin. How'ya doing?" she asked him.

The thin . . . Loial took out a piece of paper and a pen.

"Good, yes. Now, now. Hang on . . . do you mind if I ask yer a few questions, now?" he asked.

"Of course not but. . ." she squinted at the creature "Hang on! You're . . .  you're Loial! The Ogier! I haven't seen you since… what? _Book 5 or something_!" she yelled, realization dawning on her like a grade 2 discovering a new uncoloured-in colouring-in page in their favourite colouring-in book.

He nodded companionably.

"If I may?" he asked courteously.

 "Um… I guess so. What do you want to know?" Erin said carefully.

"Well, if you've already read up to Book Five, you'll know I'm writing a book about Rand Al'Thor and the other _ta'veren_. I wanted to get a view from those in this school, I am thinking to maybe put it in, or write another book purely for this." Loial rubbed at his wide nose before blinking and continuing. "Oh, I digress again, don't I? You must excuse me. So – what do you find the most difficult aspect to your, I think it's called 'Fanfiction' training here?"

Somewhat stunned by Loial's speech, Erin thought hard. 

"There's a lot, really. Sa'sara dancing, for one . . ." she could not stop a wince of painful recollection from that first class, "and the sword forms are damn near impossible . . . and the Aes Sedai – well, never mind that. Talissa and I have been arguing whether Aes Sedai or Aiel are more evil. There's never a night I can sleep undisturbed by glomping screams, or the screams of would-be glompers, the gloating of those who would have been glompees . . . and we've only been here for, what? Three weeks?"

As she continued answering Loial's polite questions, she found herself thinking more about her time at WOTTF. 

It was strange, for all the pain, evil, and downright nastiness there was here, there was still a weird sense of happiness in her memories. 

_Must be some Aes Sedai trick_, she considered._ Or maybe Mat's been smoking the Two Rivers leaf around here again_. 

Eventually, Loial thanked her for being so patient and excused himself, leaving her to make her way back to her room through the early dusk. 

It was surprising how well evening shadows hid things like benches and low flowerbeds, Erin reflected as she threaded her way through aforesaid obstacles. 

Even more surprising, however, was how some Aes Sedai – probably Elaida, from her nasty twisted Red Ajah influenced mind – had deliberately woven an illusion of uninterrupted grass over a large, steep-sided pit half-full of what felt like primordial ooze. 

"Wonderful," Erin spluttered through a mouthful of the stuff, splidging through the yick to higher ground.

She then started a string of all the worst curses she knew, sounding a little like Elayne when she'd been listening to the wagon-drivers again.

Only halfway through her furious tirade, at least three hours later, a face peered down into the pit at her. The footsteps she had presumed belonged to another student turned out to be . . . 

"Asmodean?!" she yelped. 

He seemed unusually happy – after all, hadn't he been miserable that whole time he was hanging out with Rand? _Oh, Rand and Asmodean – what a great idea_, squealed the metaphorical plot-bunny that had latched onto her ankle.

"Indeed," the Forsaken replied, and Erin shrieked as she found herself lifted out of the pit by, she presumed, _saidin_. 

In mid-flight, several meters above Dragonmount she glimpsed Demandred in the next garden and he was . . .

She found herself reacquainted with the hard ground and lay sprawled in a gmuck of the ooze next to Asmodean, a bit of the ickiness had splattered onto his spiffy robe. A sense of guilt and remorse flooded over her as she thought of robes and great fashion sense and Demandred . . .

Asmodean poked her gently, as he would a statue. He did not expect her to move.

Erin flipped over as if she were a pancake and stared at the sky in a daze.

"This is all wrong," she moaned, "Wrong, wrong, wrong!"

Asmodean patted her shoulder.

"There, there?" he said.

"I'm so STUPID!" she cried.

"Ummm . . ."

"Kill me now!" she yelled dramatically, flinging herself over Asmodean limply, "I want to just die now! Why did I think I would be good enough for him? Why? Why? Why?"

"Trust me, I'm sure you would not want to die."

"You know how to balefire! Balefire me!" she offered her chest to him, "Right through the heart, nice and quick and painless. I will never have existed!"

"Why?"

Erin was speechless.

"Why?" she repeated, mimicking his words, "Why? How could you ask? My raw wound so tender and you defile it for me to open my heart, my most intimates of intimates, my . . ."

"Enough," Asmodean held up his hand to her mouth.

"Bite me!" yelled Erin, though not to Asmodean. Demandred had just walked into their garden, holding the hand of a certainly pretty student by the name of Shini.

Erin launched herself at Shini, the traitor and grabbed for her hair. A while later the two were struggling on the ground scratching and biting and squealing at each other.

Shini had finally got the upper hand and had pinned Erin to the ground and grinned looking up into the eyes of . . . the now absent eyes of Demandred.

"Bastard!" she yelled and got off the other girl. Wandering towards a tree she banged her head repeatedly against it.

Erin lay on the ground panting hard for a while.

"But you . . . he . . ." she said.

"Damn *THUNK* bastard! *THUNK* How *THUNK* could *THUNK* I *THUNK* have been *THUNK* so *THUNK* stupid!!!" Shini let out an animalistic scream of frustration.

"I was this close," she said, turning to Erin and demonstrating with her thumb and forefinger, "and you bloody ruined it for me!"

Shini's self abuse was now forgotten as the blame turned on Erin who started to edge away.

"Come on, he just dumped you, didn't he?" asked Erin desperately.

"Well, yes the . . ." Shini's verbal skills in the unpleasantries was beginning to rival Erin's own tirade a few moments earlier.

Erin decided impulsively that if she was to get to bed alive she'd better follow this to the end.

"If he was truly interested in you he would have helped, you know," she said hopefully and adding to herself, all the more reason to go after him myself not that he's free!

Shini nodded slowly.

"We could even go in as a team, get this guy back, you know what I mean?" Erin waggled her eyebrows conspiratorially and tapped her nose.

Shini grinned slowly.

"Right you are then," and stuck out her hand.

Erin took it.

"You want Demandred still?" she asked guardedly.

"Nah, I'll have Mat now . . . Demandred's got a bit of the ole LTT inferiority complex going on. No, Mat shall be a hunt to remember!" Shini rubbed her hads and grinned evilly.

"So your one of the 'Hunters that are Horny'?" Erin asked. She'd heard rumours of this strange new lustgroup. They modeled themselves on the persistent Hunter's of the Horn.

"Yes," confirmed Shini, "It's quite fun. You wanna join?"

Erin shook her head quickly thinking of the minis' reaction if they'd ever find the HtaH headquarters.

Shini shrugged.

"Your loss, then. Their planning a noon glomp of Sammael tomorrow when he's on his way to the Forsaken Reborn seminar. Don't tell anyone though!" Shini hissed, "Or it'll be your head!"

And with that Shini swaggered off imitating Mat and whistling all the bawdy tunes she knew.

Erin stretched her muscles slowly and felt for bruises. They'd be hell tomorrow but for now, all she wanted was sleep.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Asmodean watched the girl depart.

Now, there was an interesting one, he though to himself.

He tossed up the idea of telling Sammael of his glomping appointment at lunch the next day but thought of something better.

He picked up a bottle of peroxide on the way to the staff rooms and slipped the stuff into Elyas Machera's hair oil.

He grinned, thinking of the pandemonium it would cause tomorrow.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A/N: A welcome to Shini who was our second enrollment! We've had a request for one more, so that's already been sent. Any one else who would like to enroll is welcome to email either me or Shroomie. And no, you can go to our user pages whatsitits.

AUTHOR HOME PAGES

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WELL . . .

Spit it out already!

WE HAVE 22 REVIEWS

Yay!

AND YOU THANKED ME FOR ONCE

And I thought you were going to be nice for once.

YOU AND I BOTH KNOW THAT TO BE IMPOSSIBLE

I suppose . . . *sigh*

AHEM

Yes?

GET ON WITH IT

Oh, you mean save the story? Done!

  


NO GET THEM TO REVIEW  
  
Oh that.  
  
YES THAT  
  
Fine! I'll do it now. OK, listen up everyone. I want you to review. It's a good story, no? And this after thing has gone for over a page and this is my longest chapter yet! I'm also going to be posting my seventh story, a WoT !SLASH! story . . .  
  
AHEM   
  
What?  
  
STOP PROMOTING YOUR OTHER STORIES THIS IS MOST IMPORTANT  
  
Whatever. Read them! The !SLASH! with be PG-13 so nothing that bad, I'll leave that to people who are old enough to read R let alone write it. It'll be between Perrin and . . .  
  
GRRRR  
  
Anyway, before we were interrupted, glare glare . . .  
  
YOU FORGOT THE ASTERIX'S  
  
Grrr  
  
I'M CUTTING IT OFF NOW THEN EVERYONE MUST REVIEW  
  
*glare glare*  
  
VERY GOOD.  
  
*glare glare*  
  
I GOT THAT THE FIRST TIME WE'RE ALL VERY PROUD OF YOU  
  
*huffs and stalks out*  
  
HEH HEH NOW ALL MUST REVIEW OR YOU SHALL BE ANNIHILATED


	6. A Return With A Vengeance

WOTTF Chapter 6: A Return With A Vengeance

Aman's A/N: Dude, it's been so long! Dammit, we really need to get this going, eh Shroomie? Anyhoo, School has started up again, we were going to get a chapter done over our two month holiday but we just . . . never got round to it

THEY WERE TOO LAZY

Shut up, Shaitan.

* * *

The following afternoon's glomp of the said Sammael proved near fatal to the would be glompees. Elyas, already furious that he was sporting such a youthful looking peroxide mop was ready enough to call on his wolf-brothers in punishment of the glompers.

He was flattered of the attention, of course. But all things taken into account...

Aram rubbed his eyes wearily and hesitated in opening them to the two girls who stood sheepishly in front of him.

The two girls shuffled their feet in embarrassment as Aram let out a short sigh.

"Names?"

The girls seemed reluctant to release such important information but a glare had them opening their mouths before they even knew it.

"Alex."

"Laura."

Both squeezed their eyes shut as they anticipated pain.

"What were you doing?"

More questions? Alex and Laura opened their eyes timidly, then fluttered eyelashes in what was, they hoped, an appealing manner. Every second chance counted here.

"Please, Aram, we weren't trying to cause trouble-"

"-it was an accident-"

"We didn't mean to get caught up in the glomp-"

"-honestly, we were just on our way to lunch-"

"-and then everyone was running around and we couldn't get out of the crowd-"

"-and I know it looked like we were enjoying it but we truly weren't-"

"And we promise we won't do anything bad again so please please please don't hurt us!"

Aram shook his head. He couldn't believe the foolish girls, as if he hadn't seen them leading the pack, screaming, "This way! Sammael! I LOVE YOU!!!" He should do something to them, but he was so tired, and Sammael was one of the Forsaken...

"See to it that you stay out of trouble. If you do anything again, I'll make sure I know. And when I know, you will know."

"Yes, Aram!"

"No trouble from us! We'll be really good!"

"Thank you Aram!" This was heard from some distance as Alex and Laura were already fleeing before Aram could change his mind. Aram sighed and wandered back to the staff section. This was getting a bit much for him. He couldn't wait until the next term holidays, and they'd only just begun this term. Still, at least the Staff Section was some sort of sanctuary. The only fangirls that got in here were the ones being tortured- sorry, taught by Mini-draals or appeared briefly, generally screaming on the way through. At least the shrieks weren't usually too near his room, so his sleep was largely undisturbed.

Passing the staff dining hall, he heard a commotion. Poking his head in against his instincts, he saw-

"I don't BELIEVE this!" Hunter was screaming. "What were they THINKING?!"

"Calm down, do you want the students to see you like this? No need to let them know what trouble they cause," Aman said. "Just take it out on them instead."

"What punishment is great enough for this? I mean... Crossovers are all very well, but-!"

"I know, I know. Anime and fantasy don't mix."

Hunter took a deep breath, and a cruel sneer grew across her face. "I think I have an idea... this could be fun."

Aram decided he didn't really need to hear about this now. Truly, the students were too much and if Hunter was getting this worked up, he was sure he'd hear sooner or later. He really needed some sleep if he didn't want to get Healed for a headache in the next few days.

* * *

Hunter's A/N: Woohoo! Cliffhanger! Well, not really. Sorry about the total lack of updates, and if anyone's reading this I'll be reasonably surprised, but still. I'm going to try to keep this really moving now, so wish me luck!

* * *

---Later---

Erin woke sometime in the earliest hours of the morning, an hour during which, in the real world, many people were barely beginning to stumble home from the pub. She quietly cursed the fool who had picked this as a good time to attempt a sneak-in to the Staff Section, and the accompanying screams and howls as said attempt was thwarted. She also threw in a few special curses for the light that someone had placed on some other building that allowed a beam to fall right over her eyes and refused to allow her to sleep. It seemed to taunt her, flickering dimmer just until she thought she could sleep, then shining all the brighter again.

Eventually, Erin gave in to the cruelty of the world and got up, hoping to find a snack or perhaps even a soft patch of grass to sleep the rest of the night on. Wandering at first towards the kitchen, then abruptly altering course after noticing Shaitan busy cooking up a storm (literally - his powers seemed to extend that far), she found her way out to the gardens. They really were quite beautiful in the starlight, she decided. Particularly the way a glow from the channeling area cast that gentle flicker over the grass, making it seem to move and i creating a gateway??? /i Deciding that this would not be a good moment to be seen, Erin ducked behind an amusingly shaped bush and peered through a gap in the branches.

Three forms, two large and one only a foot - at most - tall, stepped out of the gateway before it disappeared in the way so well documented in the books. In the night their every sound was clear to Erin.

"Thank you again for agreeing to this. I know it must be inconvenient, to say the least." Erin gave a start as she realised the shadow she had taken for another tree became a human form, sounding like one of the staff. No student had anything like the skill to make a gateway, that was for sure.

"It's alright. I'm glad to get some time off for it. Hope it works out well for you."

"Oh, I'm sure it will," the first voice answered with an evil edge in her voice. The figure knelt down to speak to the smaller figure. "Thank you as well, you are doing a big favour here."

"It is nothing," the figure answered in a thick Spanish accent. "I was glad to help."

"I've got to be getting back to the PPC," she said. "Busy time, you know."

"I know all right. Good luck!" The figure gave a jaunty wave before stepping back through the gateway - _when did that reappear?_ though Erin - and disappearing.

"I really hope you're happy now," muttered the other person, who'd kept silent through the whole exchange.

"Oh, I am. Very happy. Come on, we'd better get some sleep. We'll show you where you're sleeping."

"Lead on, fair ladies." The small Spanish figure swept an extravagant bow and followed the pair towards the staff section.

When they had vanished inside, Erin crept back out of hiding. She couldn't shake the nagging feeling that she knew who at least two of those people were - the ones who weren't a foot tall. They had to be staff, to get into the Staff Section unchallenged, but who could the third be, then? Nothing that short was in the Wheel of Time canon, Erin was sure. And as much as RJ enjoyed using established cultures to base his races on, she was certain there weren't any Spanish places around.

Erin yawned. Whatever was going on, it boded ill for the student population. Whenever the staff were that happy, large amounts of pain were involved for the students. It would be best to get back to sleep, at least she could be well rested when they tried to kill her. The light must've gone out by now, it looked like it was in one of the classrooms and she knew the lamps there didn't have that much oil.

Still, she lingered a minute longer. The fountain was sparkling in the dim light, the soothing sounds echoing around the courtyard. And someone was sitting on the rim. At this distance, Erin could just about make out... Asmodean? Before she could creep away to bed, he turned around and waved to her, standing and striding across to her.

"Um... hi, Asmodean."

"Hello... Erin, was it?" She nodded. "Nice to see you sane."

"Er, thanks. You too." Erin flinched, remembering a second too late that joking with the staff was a shortcut to Pain Highway. What she didn't expect was that Asmodean seemed to have a sense of humour; he gave a chuckle and shook his head.

"Perhaps so. The staff counsellor is a little use; is there one for students?"

Erin laughed bitterly. "They try to give us as much pain as possible, then complain that we're crazy and send us to a shrink. Here's an idea: don't send us mad in the first place."

"It's all in the interests of education and good fic."

Erin couldn't really argue that those weren't good goals - she'd seen her share of badfic in her time, however much her definition of "badfic" varied from WOTTF's. "Still, that's all very well but..." she tried to stifle another huge yawn. "Sorry - is Learning Through Pain really such a good work ethic?"

"Works for most of the staff." Asmodean sighed happily. "Sometimes I'm so glad I'm not one of the main characters."

"What are you even doing out here at this time of night?"

"Staff meeting ran late, planning... ah, educational activities... and I wasn't really tired. Might as well be out here than tossing and turning. You?"

"Screaming woke me up, then couldn't sleep... stupid lights still on." Erin blinked as what Asmodean had said registered. "Educational activities? Oh, crap..."

He gave her a sympathetic look. "At least the Great Lord is not involved this time."

"Then who or what is? Would it be easier if I grievously injured myself now, to avoid the rush?"

He laughed softly. "Perhaps... I can't really tell you anything now, but I understand it is to demonstrate the horrors of," he paused as if remembering, "Hunter called it a travesty. She called it several other things too, but I don't think they're fit to repeat. It's probably nothing you haven't read - or written - before."

"That's not so great a comfort," Erin muttered.

"Still, you've got a warning at least. You should be asleep, now more than ever."

"Well, thanks. See you in class, I guess." Erin gave a half-hearted wave and sloped off towards her room again.

"Wait!"

Erin stopped mid-drag and turned herself around in surprise.

"You're settling in alright, are you? Nothing too difficult?"

Erin gave him a long look over the deep bags of her eyes.

"Yes, well. Right then, good night." Erin blinked then watched Asmodean disappear into the shadows before managing to think herself into moving back to her room. The only incentive now was the warmth and security of a blanket over her head.

Tumbling into bed, she pulled the numerous amounts of blankets over her head, trying to ignore the ongoing screams from downstairs and the whistling of the escaped Machin Shin.

Erin's mind frantically tried to pull her back to consciousness with this last thought. Machin Shin! It would tear her mind apart. But deep down inside the inner Erin, she was tired. And it was warm and...

Well, the great damnable Machin Shin could wait until tomorrow for all she cared.

* * *

A/N: So, how was that? is extremely proud Aman's muse had disappeared for the last four months but now it is back with a vengeance! Heh heh heh.

LAZY.

Was not! Just.. busy. And had no creative juices to keep me going.

SUUUUURE.

Would you give me a break!

PS: Apologies, it was late. This is late in coming and we're both late in our work (school ... is ... evil ...) and we're also late in these apologies. Hopefully we'll pick up the pace soon.


End file.
